What Every Mom Should Know Before Going to the Hospital
You can read the books.
Take the birth classes.
Pack the hospital bag.
Save all the TikToks about labor and delivery.
And then labor actually starts… and suddenly everything feels far less predictable.
In the season 3 premiere of the Early-Momming Podcast, Hillary sits down with her sister Erica to unpack Erica’s first birth experience—from multiple triage visits and wondering whether her water had actually broken… to a fast labor, an emotional delivery, and an important conversation about advocating for yourself during the “golden hour” after birth.
What makes this episode unique is the perspective from both sides:
- a first-time mom experiencing labor in real time
- and a labor & delivery nurse watching it unfold as both a clinician and a sister
And honestly? Their conversation highlights something we don’t talk about enough:
Even educated, prepared moms can feel completely overwhelmed once labor actually begins.
“Am I in Labor… or Am I Just Overthinking This?”
Leading up to delivery, Erica expected labor to feel obvious.
Instead, she found herself repeatedly questioning whether what she was experiencing was actually labor at all.
She wasn’t having dramatic contractions at first. She never experienced Braxton Hicks contractions during pregnancy. And instead of a giant movie-scene gush of water, she experienced something much more confusing: leaking fluid that made her wonder whether her water had broken or whether she was just… peeing herself.
After multiple hospital triage visits without being admitted, the emotional exhaustion started to build.
And honestly, this is something many first-time moms experience.
You expect labor to follow a clean timeline:
- contractions start
- water breaks
- you go to the hospital
- baby arrives
But real life often looks much messier than that.
According to Hillary, one of the hardest parts of early labor for first-time moms is the mental uncertainty. Many women are constantly second-guessing themselves:
- “Are these real contractions?”
- “Am I overreacting?”
- “What if they send me home again?”
That uncertainty can feel incredibly emotional, especially during those final days of pregnancy.
What Contractions Actually Felt Like for a First-Time Mom
One of the most relatable moments in the episode comes when Erica describes curling her hair and doing her makeup while timing contractions in the middle of the night.
At first, the contractions felt more like intense cramps than the dramatic labor moms often expect.
But when they started waking her from sleep and becoming more consistent, she realized things were changing quickly.
Hillary explains that this confusion is extremely common for first-time moms because early labor often starts gradually instead of all at once.
And despite what people love to say, labor does not always make itself “obvious.”
A Fast Labor Isn’t Always What Moms Expect
One thing that surprised both Erica and Hillary was how quickly labor progressed once things became active.
After hours of uncertainty and almost no dilation during previous triage visits, Erica went from barely dilated to ready to push in just a matter of hours.
As a labor & delivery nurse, Hillary explained that once Erica’s body decided it was time, labor moved very efficiently.
And despite hearing over and over that “first babies take forever,” Erica pushed for only about 20 minutes before delivering her son.
It ended up being what Hillary described as a better than “textbook” first delivery.
The Epidural Experience: “This Wasn’t What I Expected”
There’s so much pressure online around birth preferences and epidurals that many moms feel anxious about making the “right” choice.
But Erica shared that her epidural experience ended up being far less dramatic than she anticipated.
The epidural relieved the pain of contractions while still allowing her to move her legs, reposition in bed, and remain mentally present during labor.
And that’s something Hillary emphasizes often:
birth experiences do not need to fit a specific narrative to be beautiful or empowering.
For many moms, pain management allows them to feel calmer, more present, and more emotionally connected during labor.
The Golden Hour After Birth Matters More Than Most Moms Realize
One of the most important conversations in this episode centers around the “golden hour” after delivery.
The golden hour refers to the uninterrupted period immediately after birth when baby remains skin-to-skin with mom to support:
- bonding
- breastfeeding initiation
- temperature regulation
- physiologic stabilization
Before delivery, Erica had clearly communicated that she wanted uninterrupted skin-to-skin contact and hoped to initiate breastfeeding before routine newborn procedures were performed.
Thankfully, Hillary was in the room helping advocate for those wishes.
During the episode, they discuss a moment where there was pressure to interrupt the first feeding for routine newborn tasks that were not medically urgent.
And honestly? This is where so many moms freeze.
Not because they don’t care.
Not because they aren’t informed.
But because birth is physically and emotionally overwhelming.
Hillary explains that moms are absolutely allowed to ask questions in these moments:
- “Is this urgent?”
- “Can this wait until after the feeding?”
- “Can we finish skin-to-skin first?”
Advocating for yourself during labor does not make you difficult.
It makes you informed.
Why Every Laboring Mom Needs Someone to Advocate for Her
One of the biggest takeaways from this birth story is how important support people truly are during labor.
Even confident, educated women can struggle to process information and advocate for themselves while actively laboring.
That’s why having someone in the room who understands your wishes matters so much.
For Erica, that advocate was Hillary.
For other moms, it may be:
- a spouse
- a doula
- a parent
- a friend
- or a trusted nurse
But having someone who can help pause conversations, ask questions, and support your goals can dramatically change how birth feels emotionally.
“Nobody Prepares You for How Emotional Postpartum Feels”
Toward the end of the episode, the conversation shifts into postpartum life—and this may be one of the most important themes of the entire new season.
Because while becoming a mom is joyful, it can also feel incredibly isolating and emotionally intense.
Erica shares how surprising those early postpartum emotions felt, especially once family members left and normal life resumed around her.
And Hillary emphasizes something many moms desperately need to hear:
Postpartum is not just the first six weeks after birth.
The transition into motherhood impacts women mentally, physically, emotionally, hormonally, and relationally for years.
That’s one of the reasons Baby Settler recently launched Baby Settler Wellness—a new arm of the company focused on supporting moms themselves, not just feeding and sleep.
Listen to the Full Episode
In this episode, Erica and Hillary discuss:
- what labor actually feels like as a first-time mom
- multiple triage visits before delivery
- water breaking vs leaking fluid
- epidurals and pushing
- the importance of the golden hour
- how to advocate for yourself during labor
- postpartum emotions and identity shifts
You can listen to the full episode and explore resources for early motherhood here:
Resources for Pregnancy, Feeding, Sleep, and Postpartum
Baby Settler provides evidence-based support for moms navigating pregnancy, feeding, newborn sleep, postpartum recovery, and early motherhood.
Explore guides, resources, and support here:
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by Nurtured 9 — beautifully curated gift boxes designed specifically for pregnancy and postpartum.
Use code EARLYMOMMING for 15% off your order.
About the Author
I’m Hillary Sadler, RN, IBCLC — board-certified lactation consultant and master’s-level registered nurse; author of Babies Made Simple; mom of four; and founder of Baby Settler Consults, located in Charleston, SC (and supporting families virtually worldwide).
Disclaimer: This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your healthcare provider regarding any questions or concerns about your or your baby’s health.
In your corner, always.
—Hillary
