Kissing Newborns, Default Parenting, and What Moms Really Think: Listener Q&A Recap

Let’s be honest. Most “mom advice” blogs feel a little… scripted. A little too curated. But what happens when two sisters—one a seasoned mom of four and a lactation consultant, the other a future mom and the most supportive auntie ever—throw out the outline and just talk? That’s what you get in Season 2, Episode 10 of the Early-Momming Podcast: a no-filter, listener-driven Q&A that hits everything from newborn kissing etiquette to the mental load of motherhood.

If you’re in the thick of early momming (or gearing up for it), this episode is your new favorite jam. In this blog, we’re recapping the rawest, realest moments—and sprinkling in some practical tips and expert-backed advice from Hillary (RN + IBCLC) and Erica (auntie, future mom, and professional encourager).

Let’s dive into what came up in this episode—and why it’s resonating with so many moms right now.

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“Can I Kiss Your Newborn?”: Where Love Meets Germs

One of the first listener questions on this episode hit a nerve: Is it okay for a loving aunt to kiss a newborn baby? Spoiler alert—it came from Erica’s own sister-in-law. And let’s just say, opinions were flying.

Erica shared that she’s firmly in the “no face kisses” camp. Germs, RSV, and general immune system fragility in those first few weeks are real concerns, and her take was this: kiss the top of the head or the feet, but hands and faces are off-limits.

Hillary, who’s helped thousands of moms as a lactation consultant and nurse, chimed in with both the medical and emotional angle: “I don’t worry about newborns getting gravely ill if they’re breastfeeding and supported… I worry about how much harder it makes a mom’s life when a baby is sick.” When a tiny baby gets a cold, it can tank breastfeeding, wreck sleep, and completely overwhelm a new mom who’s already maxed out.

Bottom line? Don’t kiss newborns’ faces. Stick to top-of-head smooches and hand-washing like your niece or nephew’s sleep (and immune system) depends on it—because it kinda does.

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The Default Parent Dilemma: When Mom’s Brain Never Shuts Off

Next up: Hillary dropped a relatable bombshell—she’d had a “default parent” weekend. You know the kind. You’re the one who knows where everyone’s shoes are, who’s eaten, who needs a nap, and who’s screaming for no reason. Meanwhile, your partner… somehow just walks out to the garden with a cup of coffee.

No shade to Hillary’s husband, Luke (who she praises as a great dad), but the truth stands: even in solid partnerships, many moms end up carrying the invisible labor load.

This default parent status isn’t about being bitter—it’s about the reality that most moms are constantly scanning, planning, and anticipating every need. Even relaxing requires advance communication. Want to go for a solo walk? You have to say, “I’m taking my hands off the kids.”

And if that’s not exhausting, what is?

If you’re feeling this default parent burnout, here’s your reminder:

• You’re not imagining it.

• You’re not doing it wrong.

• You deserve time off—without guilt.

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When the Girl Scouts (or Boy Scouts) Ask for Money and You Just… Lie

Hillary also confessed to telling a tiny white lie—to a literal Boy Scout. He asked for a donation outside of Dick’s Sporting Goods, and she said, “Sorry, I don’t have Venmo.” Her son Ben promptly called her out: “Yes you do, Mom.”

Cue mom guilt. But it opened up a hilarious and honest conversation about modern fundraising tactics, parenting while overstimulated, and whether it’s okay to be annoyed by Girl Scout cookies (especially when you’re on a clean-eating kick).

This story resonated because it speaks to that internal tug-of-war all moms feel: wanting to be kind and generous, but also needing boundaries, mental space, and less pressure. It also gave us one of the best quotes of the episode:

“I was thinking with blinders on.” — Hillary

Relatable? 1000%.

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Listener Qs Rapid Fire: Lactation Snacks, Fussy Babies & More

Here’s a lightning-round of listener-submitted Q&A that got some honest and helpful airtime:

💬 What’s the deal with lactation snacks and supplements?

Hillary gave her no-fluff advice:

• Milk removal comes first. Supplements won’t help if you’re not removing milk 8x per 24 hours.

• Best supplements: MotherLove’s Goat’s Rue, Moringa, and Shavatari if your cycle has returned.

• Avoid fenugreek if you have PCOS or thyroid concerns.

• Snacks? Be wary of processed ones. Hillary loves Mabel Mae’s Bakery for clean, effective lactation cookies made by a fellow mom.

💬 How do I keep my 3-week-old awake between feeds and sleep?

• Change their diaper right after a feed.

• Lay them flat for a few minutes, then pick them back up.

• Don’t worry if their awake time is super short (25–45 minutes is normal!).

💬 How can I calm my fussy baby in the evenings?

• Early bedtime. If your baby wakes at 6am, don’t push bedtime past 6–6:30pm.

• Double feed & babywear. Try feeding at 5pm, babywearing for comfort, then doing another bedtime feed before laying them down.

• Remember: The “witching hour” is real—and it doesn’t last forever.

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Behind the Mic: Life as Sisters, Moms, and Best Friends

This episode also gave us a deeper look into Hillary and Erica’s dynamic. They joked about unflattering Instagram clips, reminisced about early motherhood memories, and reflected on how becoming a parent shifts your view of your own childhood.

One standout moment was when Hillary said:

“I worry less about my kids getting sick—and more about how hard it makes things for me when they do.”

That line? That’s the crux of early motherhood. It’s not just about protecting your baby’s body; it’s about protecting your mental load.

Erica, who hasn’t had kids yet, brought in the perspective of the supportive auntie and friend—someone who’s observed parenting from the outside. Her biggest fear? That becoming a mom could disrupt her strong relationship with her husband. Her biggest hope? Getting to see him become a dad.

Tears, anyone?

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Listener Question: “Do You See Yourself Staying in Charleston/Scottsdale?”

Erica and Hillary answered this one candidly, too. Hillary admitted she doesn’t love Charleston (hello, alligators), and would move to Arizona in a heartbeat if her husband Luke was on board. Erica, meanwhile, is planted in Scottsdale for now—but dreams of being closer to Hillary too.

So if you were hoping they’d start a Baby Settler satellite office in Arizona… same.

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From the Inbox: “How Do You Handle Kids at Different Ages?”

Hillary was blunt: “I give myself a C-.”

But she followed it up with this beautiful insight:

“Every day, I aim for 10–15 minutes of quality one-on-one time with each of my kids. That’s how I stay connected.”

She also brought up love languages—reminding us that when you learn to speak your child’s love language, they feel seen, even in the chaos.

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Final Question: What Has Motherhood Taught You About Your Own Parents?

This might have been the most heart-tugging part of the episode.

Hillary shared that becoming a mom gave her more grace for her parents—especially her mom. She reflected on the fact that even when you’re doing your best, your child will grow up with their own version of what happened.

Every child experiences a parent differently. And that’s okay.

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Final Thoughts: If You’re in the Thick of It, This One’s for You

This episode wasn’t polished. It wasn’t rehearsed. And that’s what made it magic.

Whether you’re:

• Exhausted from default parenting,

• Unsure about what supplements to try,

• Wondering if you’re the only one annoyed by Girl Scout cookie season,

• Or trying to find space to just be with your baby without judgment…

You’ll feel seen here. You’ll laugh, maybe cry. And you’ll know you’re not alone.

So go ahead and hit play on Episode 10 of the Early-Momming Podcast. And if you love it?

Please, please leave a review. The show won’t keep growing without you.