Breastfeeding my first child was anything but natural and enjoyable. I was completely overwhelmed, And I didn’t have the support I needed to be successful. I was filled with guilt at the thought of giving my child formula, but he wasn’t getting what he needed at the breast. Looking back, there were many variables that were out of my control that prevented us from having a successful breastfeeding relationship. I suffered from postpartum anxiety And I truly missed out on enjoying the first six weeks of his life. With my second child, I was a nurse, specifically a labor and delivery nurse, And I was determined to make breastfeeding work. I used my first breastfeeding journey as an example of what not to do. I thought I could muscle through the painful, bleeding nipples, breast feed on demand and make it happen. However, my babies have tongue ties. My second child didn’t get his tongue tie evaluated and clipped, and that affected his ability to be able to efficiently and effectively breastfeed. I did breastfeed him for 13 months of his life, but I had to also supplement with formula as I never quite produced enough of what he needed. Looking back, his latch, scheduled feeds, and misinformation about how to maintain my milk supply are there reasons why I struggled with breast feeding. With my third child, third times a charm , right? She was born early , she was tiny, had that familial tongue tie, and had breastfeeding jaundice. To say our breastfeeding journey was easy , would be an absolute lie. It seemed like everything was going well in the first day or two of life. When you’re a mother with a newborn baby you forget all your knowledge and experience you have gained as a registered nurse working in woman’s services. I remember my husband coming home after his first day at work, and I just started sobbing when he walked in the house. She hadn’t had a wet diaper all day , she looked more yellow , and it seemed like she wasn’t having any vigorous feeds. After following up with our pediatrician, and bilirubin checks, we decided she needed to start being supplemented with formula as my breast milk hadn’t come in yet. It was almost day 7 after birth before my breastmilk started to really transition and come in. Looking back, I blame that delay on stress. Prior to delivery, I was so hopeful and determined, this time, I was going to make breastfeeding work. But we can’t control everything. There are variables and factors that may cause a bump in the road on your breastfeeding journey. Knowing that, gives you strength and confidence to be able to work through the problems, and give yourself grace along the way.